"Mouthful after mouthful. No stopping, not even to sit down. Marge stands at the kitchen counter tasting the cold, rich chocolate, the sweet whipping cream melting into it. Just this once, she tells herself. Something to make her feel better. The hungry emptiness in her stomach is disappearing, but the tingling sensation is still on her tongue. Outside she can hear children's voices, louder now, screaming. "That's enough," she says to herself out loud. "You're not hungry any longer."
-excerpt from: Feeding the Hungry Heart by Geneen Roth Binge eating isn't about how much was eaten or even about what was eaten - it's about the feeling. It's a feeling of being out of control... eating to push down the emotions, sometimes emotions that you aren't even aware of. I am a recovering emotional eater. I have binge eaten too many times to count.
I remember this one time, telling my grandma about my struggles with binge eating. I was recounting to her the things that I had eaten: half a baguette, spinach dip, two bowls of ice cream with chocolate chips, then another handful of chocolate chips, and another... She replied by telling me that she binge eats sometimes too! "Once I ate half a carton of yogurt!" she exclaimed in horror. I laughed. I dismissed her completely, thinking, "there's no way that half a carton of yogurt counts as binge eating!" But maybe it did, to her. Maybe she felt 100% out of control. She meant to only have a small bowl, but she couldn't stop herself. She had another small bowl and another, mindlessly, until half the carton was gone. Binge eating isn't about how much was eaten or even about what was eaten. It's about the feeling of being out of control.